Wednesday, July 27, 2011

"Baby Girl" is Growing Up

My little girl is getting so big. She is a huge help with the little ones and loves them to death. As much as I write about how big of a pain in the arshhh she is, she trolley is an amazing little girl. I've tried to give her more credit for the good things she does rather than yelling at the bad things. {which obviously happens more often.} Yesterday I got her packet for preschool. Bittersweet. I have been by this child's side, give or take a vacation or two for 4 years and 4 months. She has never been to daycare or had a regular weekly babysitter. I am so excited for her to start preschool.

As I got the packet of forms to sign my child's life away I couldn't help but smile. She gets so bored at home with me and I can't wait for her to have friends and learn even more than she already knows. Then I started laughing at my self because I kept saying how I  felt like a real mom as I read through all the papers. I'm not sure how after 4 years and 3 kids later I was just now feeling like a real  mom, but I did. And then I kept imagining all the other Mom's staring at me when I bring her in every day. I'll be that mom  who all the other mom's talk about trying to figure out my age. They will also try to figure out where my husband is or if I even have one. But that is okay. I will gladly take the "hot mom" reputation! When Ryan is in town I'm not sure I will allow him to pick her up. I'd be beating off the other Mom's with a stick.

She has open house the last day of August. I'm still wanting to cry. Is she really old enough for school? Am I really old enough for a kid in school?! Is this really happening? I'm going to have 4 solid hours 3 times a week away from her?! I get to pack lunches and put annoying Mom notes in them! Gosh I can't wait. Oh and holidays! I'm so excited to volunteer in her class. I can bake holiday cookies! Oh my goodness and embroider all the kids things! Wow who knew I could be so excited about preschool!

Just a little eager to help out!

I hope this is a good thing to help this little girl's attitude. I also hope that taking and picking her up is easier than I'm thinking. Right now I feel as if loading 3 kids in the car twice a day 3 times a week could be a lot of work!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Is it August yet?!

July has been a month from hell. Until July this deployment was a joke. I was not phased by it in any way. Now all of a sudden we are taking steps backwards in progress. The kids are going insane. I'm convinced they get up in the middle of the night and compence with each other about the ways they will torture me the next day.

Kylie is my main issue and if you a frequent reader you're well aware of this one. She is me in a nut shell. I was never known as the nice one in schoo. I'm mean, I'm cold hearted, I'm sarcastic and well I'm a bitch. That is the only word there is to describe this child. I've tried for months to give her leeway because she does miss her Daddy but I'm at my breaking point with her. No form of disipline works. You can not punish the child. If you spank her she laughs. { Although if you pinch her thigh she thinks you shot her.} Taking things away is a joke to her. If I take the TV away she finds something else to do. If I take toys away she watches TV, if I take them both away she starts tormentng her sister. We have not had any problems with bed time until the begining of July. She then decided she "couldnt sleep", "wasn't tired", or "was thirsty".  By 8pm I want nothing more than to lay in my bed and watch a TV show that does not consist of dancing 25 year old retards. So she has been going to bed at 10 or 11 and waking up at 6:45. {She hasnt napped since she was 2 either.} If you have kids you know 8 hours of sleep is just not enough for them. She wakes up in the middle of the night to come to my room. Then she caught on to the fact I wasn't letting her in my bed, she started sleeping on my floor. What the heck kid?!

Bentley has been my best sleeper and really an easy baby. In the last week I'm ready to give him away. He wants to be held 24/7. I would always lay him down when he was sleeping so I would not spoil him in the beginning. Now all of a sudden he will only sleep for 5 mintues unless I"m holding him. If I do get him to sleep laying down my lovely 4 year old wakes him up. He started sleeping from 10-5 which has been awesome. But of course past 2 nights he thinks I should be holding him to sleep. I can not sleep comfortably with him on me. The night before last I woke him up to feed him just so I could move him. I may have to stop running due to the fact he wont allow me to shower. I like to tan before I shower so it takes all of 20 minutes to do both. It's an act of God to get that done in this household. It took me an hour to get him to sleep in his swing today. Two minutes into tanning I hear Kylie drop a bucket of toys and boom he's awake. I come downstairs bring him upstairs, calm him down and jump in the shower. Two minutes into the shower he's screaming. And this isnt a whimper. This is full on I think I'm dying scream. I had to let him cry. I was smelling like a combination of outside sweat and burning flesh. {Not flattering.}

The two of them are so over whelming I want to scream at the top of my lungs. Delainey aside from coloring her self daily is my little angel. She goes to bed at 8:05 every night, naps at 1 every day and goes with the flow. If she had issues I would probably give up already. I hope and wish and pray that the month of August will be calm and peaceful and we can fix these spastic Burke children!!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Weight on the Brain

Lately all I do is think, breath and dream about losing these last few pounds and getting that flat belly I haven't seen in 2 years. It's all I email my husband about. It's all I talk to my friends about. And it's all that I dream about. You know when you finally start feeling good about the way you look and you find your self staring in every mirror or reflective object you pass? Yep that would be my conceded self. I can't help it. Ive never worked out in my life. Jogging is as far as I ever got but never on a regular basis. I in fact had a 36 hour gym membership once. Don't be jealous, you too can join a gym for that long. {Just be sure they offer returns after that time.}

As I posted my friend Kelly and I started p90x the last week of June which is when my weight endeavor started. That lasted all of 4 days. Kids didn't cooperate, my ear went to hell, every excuse in the book. I however stuck to the food part of my "loose 87lbs era". I stopped drinking soda which I use to drink no less than one dr pepper a day sometimes 3 or 4. Water is my new beverage choice. After 3 days of no soda my wedding rings fit. I then had to start claiming my husband again. I don't eat junk and as bad as I want to cram a big Mac down my throat I have not given in. I do treat my self to a soda here and there but man have I impressed my self.

8 weeks ago
haha just a LITTLE bit of a difference!

After quitting p90x I then obsessed over crunches. I did close to 400 a day. All different types of ab exercises and never saw anything change. Got discouraged. A fellow Marine Wife {Thanks Rachael} is also losing weight, assuming same reason, to look hot for homecoming. I asked what she did and she said run run run. Next day I woke up threw my tennis shoes on which I hadn't worn in hmmm at least 2 years, crammed my 27 kids in my double jogging stroller and set off to the park. The park is .8 miles there and back. After running 3 times I lost 3 pounds. I'm now losing a pound about every 3 days. Who wouldn't?! I'm pushing dang 80lbs of stroller which is almost what I weigh! Today I cut off 3 minutes from my usual time.

Friday, we got to the park and not 5 minutes later Kylie my oldest is holding her butt telling me she has to poop. Really kid?! So I got them all back in the stroller and sprinted all the way home. I thought I was going to die. It was 89 degrees out! In that sprint I dropped Bentley's blanket and my cup went flying out of the stroller and cracked. {RIP pretty pink tumbler, sorry you took a tumble.} Luckily my mom was stopping by for a few and found the blanket on her way in. Of course it was in a damn sprinkler though.

All in all I am feeling much better about the way I look and I'm hoping to lose 6 more lbs by the time my husband gets home and one day I would like to bend over without having my glob of "extra skin" flop over my pants. Sorry for that vision. It has to be disturbing. And I promise I will have something more to talk about soon. Ok maybe not but you never know!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

I Miss Blogging!

It has been such a crazy last few weeks. The amount of things I've done, need to do,want to do and have done are unreal. You know when you've got so much to do yet you sit on the couch doing none of it? Yea that's my life in a nut shell. I finally got in the swing of things with 3 kids. I was going to the store with all 3 kids, making real meals, doing laundry, so on and so forth. And then I went out without kids to celebrate July 4th, big mistake.

My break was much needed and in my opinion much deserved. I'm grateful enough to have a mom who loves and is willing to watch my kids when needed. So on the 4th I brought my kids to my mom late morning then headed out on the lake with some friends. Bottle of vodka later and I was gone. I am not a big drinker, never have been but I started drinking at 1pm and had a drink in hand until I went to bed that night. I woke up still drunk and was until almost 2pm. I finally made it to pick up my kids but could not hear to save my life. I assumed it was water in my ear and ignored it for about a week.

That's when I start to regret my day out. On Thursday I went to the minute clinic to get it looked at after not sleeping for 3 days. She tells me wax is jammed in my ear and I need to flush it out. So my nurse friend Pam did just that, didn't help. The next day Pam comes over with all her gadgets so she can actually see in my ears. She finally was able to get all the wax out. {It was disturbing how much was in my ear, swear I clean them.} so for 4 days the water was stuck behind the wax sitting on my ear drum. I heard for all of 5 minutes then went back to my mute life. Sunday 2am, woke up to a wet ear and thought thank God the water finally came out! Nope. It was bleeding. Not just a drop, I leaned my head over the sink and it was dripping out of my ear. I won't lie I started to panic. One I was in pain. Two I'm pretty sure that's one body part that is just not supposed to bleed! On top of not hearing all week my phone decided to play in the rain on July 4th as well, so I had no phone to call anyone to help me. Luckily I had a way to text my mom from the computer and my friend Jake saw my facebook status and offered to take me to the ER. The ER of course looked at me like I was an idiot and nothing was wrong with me but home alone with 3 kids I wasn't chancing it. They gave me ear drops and told me good luck. I was in so much pain that my body was crying for me. Monday I was still in just as much pain but add a migraine to it as well. I couldn't eat because it spread to my jaw, therefore I couldn't take pain meds on an empty stomach. It took a half hour to eat a handful of cheese itz! Tuesday I was finally not in pain and my poor mother got to go home.

I still can not hear all the way. I'm supposed to put drops in my ear 4 times a day but I am lucky to do so 2 times a day with these crazy children! It is almost time for my husband to come home so I am frantic trying to figure out what needs to be done in the house. So much needs to be decorated, pictures still need to be hung. The things I've stared at for months but walk by and ignore! So in between the screaming kids I am trying to organize and figure out the things that need to be done. Lets be serious there is no time in between that!

Hope you all have a safe and swell weekend! :)