Sunday, April 17, 2011


I was under the impression that all the screaming and break downs would come to an end. They dwindled to their normal amount and we were finally getting into a routine. Since then I have been trying to avoid driving my car due to it being out of inspection and seeming to be virtually impossible to easily get inspected. This means a lot of time spent at home. When really we are use to that. In California there were weeks we didn't leave the house even once. So what the heck are my kids problems?!

Slowly but surely Kylie is relapsing from her good behavior back to the pain in the butt "i hate change" child. Every day I spend screaming at the top of my lungs hoping that it will some how click in this child's brain that she is doing something wrong. Nothing works. I try to be nice. I try to punish her. I try to get her to just tell me what is wrong. I took her on a fun day yesterday just for her hoping it would help. Instead she had an all out war towards me when we got home. She woke up in the same fantastic mood screaming at me because she did not want waffles for breakfast. I told her we would not be going any where with the way she's been acting. But my mom then texted me and said she would pick her up for church. As much as I wanted to stand my ground I need to get away from the child.

While she was gone Delainey and I went to the store and it was a very peaceful trip I might add. I was then able to take a shower, no problems, screaming or disasters during that either. I got dressed and even blow dried my hair for the first time in almost a month. I made lunch then Kylie arrived and my peaceful day was at its end. Not to my surprise Kylie also gave my mom a hard time. She wanted to be held and cried because she didn't want her bagel cut a certain way. Um hello since when did we cry about a bagel?! She's just plain rude and ugly right now and I can not find a reason. The only thing I have come up with is she wants to spend the night at my Mom's and my mom has been too busy to accommodate the princess' sleeping plans.

I am worn out, ridiculously sick, tired, annoyed, pissed off and wish it would all stop. I want to scream that I give up but you can't give up, it's not really an option with a deployed husband and 2 1/2 kids! I have 5 weeks before I am 37 weeks and waiting to have this baby. I have nothing for him. My house still has pictures propped up on walls and not hung. His "room" has boxes and beds of all sorts all around it. I know everything that needs to be done yet I just sit around because I'm too annoyed to do any of it. I need time to slow down. Communication with Ryan is slowing fading into a few sentence emails. Ive gotten one call since he has been gone.

On a happy note, I will at least be having a flat tummy and a handsome boy in my arms in a matter of a few weeks! :)

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