Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Stereotypical..

Don't you just love how every stranger has already picked you apart in their head. They think they know who you are and everything about you.


As a "teen mom" I was always looked at as that girl who got pregnant young, wasn't with the dad, couldn't afford food or clothes for my kid, lived with my parents and didn't finish school. Where as yes I did in fact live with my parents until Kylie was 2. It was because my husband, yes father of my child, was deployed twice with 5 months in between the two. I still get stereotyped, I get those looks when people know I'm young and see me with 2 kids. Ryan and I have never once asked our parents for help. We have done everything on our own since day one. Yes, our parents do help but they choose to and we greatly appreciate everything they do help us with. So many people think as a young mom that I really let my mom raise my kids, uhhh hello my mom lives 2500 miles away from me. It is a great feeling to know we got out of the norm, we are those few who one make it together and two do it with flying colors. I remember being in the hospital with Delainey and the nurse saying, "You know I saw your age and was worried you'd annoy the hell out of us with questions but I've barely been in your room. You know what you're doing and don't need our help." Well yes I don't like to ask for much help and I just had a baby 2 1/2 years ago I remember it all.
March 30, 2007, I am one chubby bunny and Ryan looks 12.
November 17th, 2009, Not as chubby looking and have it all together,
ok I'd like to think I handled it well. 

I watch so many shows on MTV like Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant and realize we got lucky. I know that I would not of done as great as I did without my family. My mom was the biggest support as was my stepdad. In many cases on those shows they don't get support from family. I was certain my stepdad would kick me out on my ass but instead he said "That's gonna be one cute baby" My real dad did not talk to me for almost a year and tried to get Ryan arrested because we are 2 years and 11 months apart. That one month extra would of landed him in jail but we got lucky. Ryan's parents, which I thought would be easier to tell, were not thrilled. I can remember that conversation like it was yesterday and it still kills me the way they treated not only me but Ryan. They looked at me as if I had 'done this' to him, that I had ruined his life and he couldn't go on and achieve his goals. Helllllo people, your son is 19, graduated high school and is on his way to boot camp for the Marines. Not once did I ever try to stop him. I was 16, a junior in high school pregnant. Yet you're looking at me as if I screwed him over. I think not. I left that house pissed and aggravated and I do not think I will ever forget that conversation. The funniest part was when Ryan's dad said, "How did you this happen?" He replied, "Well dad when two people love each other very much..." So with the next two pregnancies my family was first to know and I feel as if this is why. You weren't happy for the first one why care about the next ones?

My husband and I look very young on top of actually being young. He gets carded every time he orders a drink and he's about to be 24. I got carded for spray paint when I was 20. After the lady saw my age she said you just look really young, I said well I'm 20 and have 2 kids. Shocked the hell out of her for sure. My favorite memory of someone assuming I was some teenager is my experience at Victoria Secret. I believe I was about 6 or 7 months pregnant with Delainey. I asked for someone to measure me. She gave me a card that had my bra size on it and proceeded to say " It's really cool to have you can give it to your boyfriend so he knows your size, you can write all your favorite stuff on it" So I said, "Yes that is a good idea although my husband may not like my boyfriend buying me bras." Not sure if she thought it was funny but I did. Hello lady, I'm wearing a wedding ring and I'm 7 months pregnant. How hard is it to look at my hand. Or just not say anything at all, say give this to someone special.

The military world makes me feel more normal but then I realize that I'm a stereotypical Marine wife. We get married young, have kids young, and have them at the rapid rate of 3 in 4 years! But it's how it works, your husband is deployed for long periods of time and he comes home and you end up pregnant. Your husband gets sent to a country where Marines are dying left and right, you get pregnant just in case. It's a life many people choose to live. When we moved on base I was in love with having great neighbors. I started talking to them within a week or so of living here and we have become good friends. All the kids are close in age and it works great. Most of them did not find out how young I was until they already decided they liked me. {haha} It made me feel good that I do not seem like a 20 year old, I'm older for my age. I believe my one neighbor is over 10 years older than me.

This week I turn 21 and can't buy a fancy drink to celebrate, wait scratch that, I can't drink a fancy drink to celebrate. I will be buying a non alcoholic fancy drink.

2 comments:

  1. You shocked me! I was FOR SURE thinking you were like 23 or 24. Haha! But, I like to judge people off of their maturity level, not age. And trust me, I have seen MANY military wives a lot older who don't have their crap together half as good as you! So glad we met! I will make you an awesome mocktail for your big day! :)

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  2. I felt like I was reading about my life reading your post! When Bryce told his mom that he married me ( I was 16) Her first response was "Oh my god, you got her pregnant didn't you" Sooo sorry we got married young and weren't pregnant!

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