Sunday, December 11, 2011

Tonight's Theme:Poop

If you aren't a parent you may just not even want to read this. It could be disturbing or you could laugh your butt off at the insane things us parents have to deal with. Every night at about 5pm I start sending anger texts to my husband and/or other people who realize I'm insane. I can be so calm all day long but something happens to my patience and my kids start to act like wild animals at 5pm.

9 times out of 10 dinner ends up on the floor. The other two meals of the day usually go off without a hitch but for whatever reason dinner just never makes it in their mouths. This is when having a dog came in handy. My handsome little boy who chooses to not sleep, ever, has now decided that during every meal he eats he must poop. Who seriously thinks about pooping while eating?! Then after he poops he refuses to eat another bite until you change him. Tonight the girls were poking each other with forks over and over in the face. About the 4th eye stab and dinner was over.

Kylie even at age 4 has not mastered the whole wiping her self after she uses the bathroom. Ive tried to find every way possible so she's not sitting on the toilet screaming " I need you to wipe me!!!" That got old fast. Tonight she failed miserably and I had already had it with all of them. I put the girls in the tub and then tried to get Bentley to calm down because little do you all now but from 6:45-7:30 he is actually close to near death every night. Next thing I know the girls are doing their high pitch girl squeal as loud as they can. What do you know more POOOP. Delainey pooped in the bathtub. I want to say this is at least the 5th time she's done it. I don't think Kylie ever did this and if she did she was pretty young. Kylie is smart and just stands on the side of the tub. Delainey on the other hand is standing in the middle of the bath screaming and crying poop. Well darling I did not poop in the tub so please don't scream at me like I did something to hurt you. After cleaning the tub I was not about to have the hair washing fight. I washed their bodies off and was done.

They were all in bed by 7:55. Bentley is in his crib and I am hoping for one dang good night of sleep!

Cooking Chaos

Are you one of those people that uses every utensil in the kitchen to cook one thing? When you scramble an egg do you dirty at least 5 things? People like this drive me up the wall. My mom does this. I always wondered why she had 18 spatulas and mixing bowls. By the time she is done baking a cake no one can eat dinner because everything is dirty.

I'm exact opposite. Until the other day I never thought about it. I'm probably the strangest person I know. I go to great lengths to use the least amount of things to cook. I have it down to a science. When I eat eggs I use one fork for the whole process. First I put the butter in the pan, {cutting it with the fork} scramble the egg, rinse off the fork and use it to eat with. I can't stand using so many utensils for one dang meal.

Not only do I savor my one utensil but I clean as I cook. It probably takes me an extra 15 minutes to cook anything because I'm cleaning after every ingredient. My theory behind this is when I'm done, I'm done. There's no huge mess to clean, nothing to put away and silverware to eat with. My husband would often tell me to sit down and eat dinner instead of cleaning but I don't want to clean after I eat. I want to rinse my plate off and go relax. I think after a while he realized if he didn't let me finish then he'd be the one cleaning it all up.

Do you ever notice strange things you do? I think Ryan would say 99% of the time the ways I do things are strange. I brush my teeth in the shower, I eat in my bed, I keep socks for years in hopes to find the match, and I can make a bottle of shampoo last a year!

Until Ryan and I lived together I didn't realize how many things I had to have done a certain way. I'm slightly OCD and have to clean 24/7. My poor kids can't ever have toys out longer than 45 minutes or I start freaking out needing to clean it up. I'd like to say in the last few months I've lightened up some and try to let them enjoy being kids. But who knows when you will have a surprise visit at the door. Maybe you could finally win that million dollars in the Publishers Clearing House you've signed up for years. Or the HGTV dream house. I obviously sign up for way too many give aways expecting to one day win. In fact the day I thought they were going to announce the urban oasis winner I was telling my mom she couldn't go out of town because one of us was going to win. A girl can hope right?! I sign up for the dumbest things and have yet to win but you guys just wait!!

What are your strange habits? I'd love to hear I'd anyone is stranger than me.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Holidays and Deployments

The holidays can make a deployment all the more dreadful. We are fortunate enough to be able to spend the holiday season with my husband this year. In fact he is my "holiday husband" right now because that is the only time I see him. Ryan left for boot camp in October 2006 so we started our adventure into the military world in full force with holidays alone, while I was pregnant with our first child. He quickly deployed August 2007 and missed Thanksgiving. He then left again June 2008 and missed all holidays that year. 2009, 2010 and now 2011 we have been incredibly grateful for each other over the holiday season.

The key to a successful holiday season alone is distractions. Plan as many things as you think your little body can handle. If you don't have kids, take off work and go visit family. There is no reason to sit alone and mope over something you can not change. If you have kids plan fun activities. There is so much to do over the holiday season. Turkey hand prints, make place mats for the Thanksgiving Day table, ornaments, go see Santa, decorate the tree, and the list can keep on going. Think of new ways to do things while he is away.

Don't ever limit what you are involved in because you don't have your husband there to join you. I so often see wives say oh I can't do that because my husband isn't home and we always do that together. Well if you enjoy it just go with friends. We sacrifice a lot as military spouses to be at home waiting for that perfect date and time to pop up in our email. No reason to not enjoy our lives while they are gone just the same as when they are home. I seem to always find a "buddy" when my husband is gone. That one person where no matter what time of day you can talk to and complain to. The one who complains the same way to you and you don't get tired of hearing each other whine and cry over the dumbest things. A healthy way to fill the void of not being able to talk to your husband. May I suggest a fellow military spouse, possibly even one in the same unit as your husband. Makes it easy when they know exactly what and where your husband is. Never feel guilty for having a smile on your face while he is away. I promise our husbands do not want us to be sitting at home miserable.

Another key thing to remember is, its okay to be sad. It is very hard to sit at the mall watching all those people shop together for Christmas presents. Or Christmas morning alone with your kids can be emotional because their Daddy isn't there to see it. Take a million pictures and send your husband a 27 page email about the day. If he has limited time on the computer it may take him 4 weeks to read it but hey you kept him involved right? I try my hardest to think positive. When I had our first born son while my husband was deployed I never broke down. I kept reminding my self that it did not matter that he was not there for the birth because he would meet him in a few months. So many of them are killed over seas and never meet their kids. That is far worse than Ryan meeting his son at 4 months old.

Care packages are an excellent way to make you feel like you're keeping your husband involved in the holidays. Theme the box. Decorate the sides of the box with holiday paper and make everything inside go along with your theme. Let the kids draw pictures and pick out things to put in it. I'm not sure I ever follow post office instructions. I want to say you aren't supposed to send carbonated drinks but I did in almost every box. Once you start to figure out how long packages are taking to get to him you can figure out what baked goods will still be good. If he's on a MEU forget it. Send all processed food. Hell and put it all in Ziploc's because it will not make it.

My favorite care package story is when I discovered you can not send alcohol. My husbands last care package on his second deployment I shipped goody bags for him and a few friends for the flight home. I included jager bombs. Little bottles of jager and a red bull for each guy. After I left the post office I called a friend and said "Yeah I'm so excited for them to get their box to find the jager bombs." "Meridith, it's illegal to ship liquor." Oops. Not only did I ship it, I shipped it out of the country. So note to self: It is illegal to ship liquor!

I often feel like during deployments the world is crashing down around me. The kids are going insane, I don't sleep, don't have time to eat and I just want to give up. Then you read the email you got a few days earlier and your nerves are calm and back in your happy place. It's okay to break down so long as you get up, put your big girl pants on and carry on with this crazy and adventurous life style! If you'd like to read other military spouses ways of getting through the holidays, go  here. Or for general military support you can go here.

Remember to keep positive and just enjoy life over the holidays, may I suggest watching Ellen. She is my sanity!! :) Happy Holidays!

Talented Two's

Whom ever started the "Terrible Two's" thing was completely wrong. Its "Talented Two's". It's like over night on their birthday they just become so talented and can do everything them selves. Everything is, I do I do and No Help!

Delainey is being diagnosed with this as we speak. She does not want help doing anything. Getting in the car is like a 30 minute process. You can not lift her into the car, that she has to do alone. You can't buckle her seat unless she instructs you to do so. And don't you dare try or you'll make it all the more difficult. She is under the impression that her jackets are not to be worn in her car seat as well.

All of a sudden at age two they can open fruit snacks, juice boxes and yogurt. They scream and grunt to try open it them selves then finally turn to you and ask for help. I just want to look at her and say "Well dumb dumb I tried to help you 25 minutes ago but you were being stubborn.

Getting dressed is all the rage in our house. Picking out our own clothes leaves my kids looking homeless but some days I do not have the patience to fight it. Delainey, 2, often tries to put on clothes her self and ends up with 4 shirts on but no pants. The thought process on that makes no sense. Or she will have night pants on with a dress? I try to set out outfits at night so she doesn't fight it. If its already picked out she just puts it on, by her self. She thinks dresses are to be zipped in the front so SHE can zip them. I have to convince her that whatever pretty picture is supposed to be on the front is so pretty she needs to look at it. She has such a big head that she screams for 20 minutes every day trying to get her shirt over her head, little does she know if she hands it to Mommy she can unbutton it!

Please pay close attention to my 4 year olds outfit.
Purple leggings with a pink and black dress?
We had almost 45 people over that day for a Birthday party.
I was clearly not caring to fight with her!

I love to watch my kids grow and learn new things. Having patience is the only thing that can get you through these years of them not really being able to do things they think they can!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


Life in general has been insane, not just my kids. I have found that I find comfort in food. I think about food to make me happy. Luckily my metabolism is daah shnit or I would 400 lbs by now.

Today I was at Ihop and I ordered chocolate chip pancakes, the lady said "Do you want chocolate chocolate chip?" Is that even a question, of course I do.

My husband found out a week before Thanksgiving that we are now moving the end of January. Ain't that so sweet of the Marines to mess up every plan I had. Not to mention we now have to step up our game on turning in housing papers. Which I now got what I think is everything turned in. We also have to leave our current house a month before our lease is up. I'm waiting for that argument. Of course my husbands orders aren't working so I'm not able to turn in our 30 day notice until I can attach that to it! Then I'm like oh lanta I have got to start packing. Maybe one day I will get the hang of this military life style but for now, CAN WE JUST STAY IN ONE HOUSE, PAHHHLEASE!?

Lately I have been going out and doing a lot more things with the kids. Having a massive car that holds 18 strollers and/or babies helps make it easier. We go to parks, the mall, Target {3x a week}, and really just anywhere. We were doing really good on embarrassing outburst until last week. This one was so good that I didn't even get embarrassed I found it hilarious. Is it bad that I laugh at the things my kids do?

So we are at the mall with a friend I hadn't seen in a few years. I was very glad to of gotten to see her. She also has a 4 year old little girl who is adorable, and she is pregnant. Her little girl wanted a drink and Kylie of course refused to drink the juice I had brought with us and being the none cash holder I am my friend offered to buy Kylie one. Now the girls share things all the time. I don't find it necessary to buy them each something when they wont drink or eat it all. So I told Kylie in the beginning you have to share with Delainey. Kylie drank some then went to play. Delainey was then chugging the juice and Kylie caught glimpse of it. She came running over to rip it out of her hand. Delainey starts screaming profusely as Kylie then starts chugging it as fast as she can so her sister cant get any. Delainey then throws up because she was screaming so hard. Meanwhile this old black lady is staring at me as if I was a horrible parent. I'm not sure what she expected me to do. I was trying to get the drink from Kylie but it just wasn't working. I cleaned up the puke, picked up Delainey and threw her in the stroller, still screaming. Put Bentley's seat on the stroller and started to deal with Kylie. She refused to put her shoes on. I was so not about to let her walk around the mall shoeless. She gets in the bottom of my stroller and insists on riding there. Fine by me, means I can run out of this mall and pretend like that never happened. My poor friend may be regretting having a second child after being with me for all of 2 hours!

They all fell asleep on the way home and I sat in the drive way for 30 minutes enjoying the peace and quiet!! Why on earth do our kids have it out for us? Or am I alone?

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Well Happy Thanksgiving to this Momma

I absolutely love the holidays. I look forward to them all year. I like all holidays. I love to have parties, decorate, dress my kids in matching ridiculous outfits so on and so forth. Luckily we were blessed with the money to fly my husband home for Thanksgiving. It's a very short trip and 2 early mornings at the airport but so worth it. Our kids don't know. Actually I told the 2 year old just so I could get it out. She forgot the second I said okay now want candy. They will all be staying with my mom so I don't have to wake them up to pick him up at 6am and that way I will be able to show up with him Thanksgiving morning. I can not wait.

So to prepare for his arrival I have been slowly cleaning the house. Today after wanting to give our 4 year old to the neighbors I calmed down and started to get things done upstairs. Not too long after I actually got stuff accomplished Bentley rolled off the bed. He caught him self with his face and had a red mark under his eye. He calmed down and I went back to laundry. While waiting for the laundry to be done we were all watching a movie. Next thing I know Delainey is screaming "ow nose" over and over. What do you know he stuck a bead in her nose. She put it in there so far it started bleeding and you couldn't see it. I of course call Nurse Pam {our friend, and on call nurse} She lives in our neighborhood and happen to be off today so she came by to see if she could help. She looked and couldn't see it either.

So mind you it's laundry day, I'm in a tank top and sports bra with sweat pants on and my kids are in night clothes. I quickly throw some clothes on Delainey and just grab a jacket and jeans for me. She falls asleep in the car and I'm like oh great the bead is going to drop down and she's going to choke. She didn't. Traffic was of course awful. We finally get there and fill out paper work yada yada yada. I had called the most amazingly helpful friend Jill to come to my Marine wife, sometimes kinda single selves rescue. She is a fellow military wife and I'm sure she thought oh I get she can't help being alone right now. Plus I really thought getting this thing out was going to take 8 nurses to hold her down.

As soon as Jill arrived her first comment is, really you didn't try a vacumme cleaner? Her poor kids. Then she is googling ways to get them out. We tried one but it didn't work very well because I was scared of hurting her. When we got in the doctor suggested doing it as well so parents try this before you pay the ER bill. Hold the opposite side of the nose down and blow in their mouth as if giving CPR.

We get in the room and Jill is of course making glove balloons. "I mean if we're gonna pay for this visit we might as well get balloons out of it." The doctor was surprisingly great with her. He went to get more hands to hold her down. They tried to suction it but it was way too far back. So we all braced our selves held her down and he used little tweezers to get it out. Jill and I of course cheered in excitment. Im pretty sure the doctor and nurse just stared at us. Delainey quickly remembered I told her she could have candy if she was good.

That visit put a damper on my chores to prepare for Ryan's surprise arrival. I'm am so grateful for Jill as a friend. She is always there no matter what the circumstances. Lately just medical ones. And of course Pam for watching the other 2 kids to avoid chaos at the ER!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! Drive safe, wear elastic and stay away from small objects!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Been One of Those Days

Lately my kids and life have been throwing curve balls at me for fun. Like last Tuesday I had a horrible head ache. I went to the cabinet to get Tylenol and a bar of bakers chocolate flew out and hit me right in the nose. It wasn't as funny as it sounds. I couldn't even put my make up on the next day because it was so bruised. It is still healing after a week. It didn't help my head either. Only a "fat girl" as I could get smacked with a bar of chocolate.
You know those days where all you can think about is crawling into bed and waking up in a good mood? Or when all you can think about is a drink, and not juice, a real drink. Those days where the smallest and dumbest thing ruin your life. That was my day today.

Due to the loverly time change my girls were up at 6:30am. Now that wouldn't be so awful had I actually been to sleep. I finally got into bed and to sleep at 11pm, Bentley was then up at 1, 2, 4 and 5. Kid is so spoiled. So at 7am Kylie insisted we were late for school. No kid my alarm goes off in 45 minutes we aren't even supposed to be awake yet. It was her day to be class helper and she would of died if she was late.

I finally just decide to get up at 7:30 so for once I wouldn't be rushing to get out the door. 7:45 I was pulling a bead out of Kylie's nose that "Delainey put there." Why do kids think its fun to put things in their nose? After I fixed my face so I didn't look like a zombie I had to put the girls hair up. After 2 seconds of brushing Kylie's hair I find ketchup in it. How on earth? This kid has 15 strands of hair, that's it and she manages to get ketchup in it?

We are out the door, normal time not a minute early. I thought it would be a good day. I went to the fabric store, picked out some cute fabric for a car seat cover and headed home. After picking up Kylie from school Delainey was not in the mood to nap. I heard her upstairs but thought nothing of it as she normally plays around before she goes to sleep. Next thing I know I hear things flying down the stairs. She threw all the contents of her dresser down the stairs. I'm pretty sure I've blogged about how she loves to empty her dresser. Yes, that got boring. I made her put it all in her room but did not have the energy or patience to fold it all right away.

After that chaos I sat down and relaxed a little with my screaming clingy baby then the two hungry ones started bugging me. What do they think I am, their mother? Like I'm just supposed to feed them 3x a day or something? I as usual made something quick and kid friendly. Soup. Now soup in our house has a 50/50 chance of being eaten with not one drop spilt or the entire bowl being spilt. Since my day was going so great Kylie flipped her bowl and Delainey thought it would be fun to throw hers on the table. Such little artist they are.

I love my life. I love my life. I love my life.


She look so proud of her self.

This would be dinner.

I will even include pants & shoes for each of them.

When I go to bed at night and all is calm I realize how much i really do love my life. My kids challenge me every day but it makes me a stronger person. Often I want to give up and well hell I don't think I can just give up being a Mom like you can quit a job, but if there were a way to give up I've been close to it. I try to remind my self daily that I have an amazing husband and kids even through all the tantrums, screaming, sleepless nights, messes, and snotty noses.

Friday, October 7, 2011


Target and I have a love-hate relationship. I have always been a Target person. I am not so in love with Walmart as much as I would drop dead if there weren't a Target near my house. When I first moved to California the first thing I did after getting our address is looking up the closest Target. Once I found out that it was 1.5 miles away from the house all my fears on moving seemed to disappear. You can't be unhappy if there's a Target that close to you. Lezzzbehonest!

Target is conveniently right by my neighborhood. In fact I'm almost positive the shopping center is connected to my neighborhood some how. So of course this means at any given moment that I need something I say ok lets go to Target. It's gotten so bad my kids get their shoes on and say "Where are we going, Target?" Thank the heavens this Target that is oh so close to me finally got fresh produce and groceries. Their prices are FAR better than Harris Teeter which is where I was going, only down fall is they don't exactly have everything you would need. When it is just the girls and I, I can get away with shopping there. When my husband is home and I have real dinners planned I have to go to the grocery store.

All Target's have this fabulous dollar section. Most that I've been in put it right in the door way. So you walk straight in grab 8 "dollar" items then get home to realize they were all actually $2.50. If you're anything like me you end up buying the most ridiculous things because it's just a dollar. What I have yet to get through my head is that if you buy 20 $1 items 3x a week, it starts to add up.

 I obviously just left Target because its my school day ritual since I only have 2 kids. I got those gooey window decals for Halloween and Thanksgiving. Now I buy these dumb things every holiday. I think in my head what a fun thing to let Kylie do to help decorate. Then 2 days later she has ripped them off the window, squished them into furniture and/or Delainey has tried to eat them. But for whatever unknown reason I just keep thinking that maybe just maybe I can keep them up on the windows until the actual holiday comes around. This time I decided to put them up my self, I put them up high so maybe she wont be able to reach them.

Have you been to an old Target lately? I can't stand it. You get those old regular looking shopping carts, the ones car seats don't fit in and they sound funny and just aren't sweet enough for this lady to push. It's awful. {Ok little exaggeration but seriously why do they even have those still?}

Can you walk out of Target and spend less than $100? I can't do it. I've tried and I have failed. The best is when you say ok I can't spend money we just need a few things. You get to the register and you have like 6 items and you're like damn I did good we wont spend too much. Your total is $101.01 ma'am. And what do you know you failed again. It's like no matter what you do things just get in your cart that before you walked in the store you had no idea you HAD to have them.

Sitting here staring at this beauty. Target $2.50 {in the $1 section)
I'm pretty sure I didn't need it.
This was 3 Target trips ago and I'm still buying Halloween decorations!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Mom where does glass come from?

My oldest daughter Kylie is so interested in where things come from these days. About every minute she has a new question of where did this come from, or how you make this. At times I just want to scream, "God made it all now stop asking all the questions!" But I don't. I think of the shortest and quickest answer there is.

"Mommy, how do you make glass?"


Surprisingly she takes my dull answers. My mom humors her self by actually explaining the process of making things.

"Grandma, where do cups come from?"

"Well men melt down recycled plastic to then shape into a cup."

I obviously made that up because it makes no sense but she draws out the answers to tell her exactly where things come from and how things are made. I'm waiting for the where do babies come from question. I will most likely say the obvious truth which is a stork drops them off at the hospital. She thinks that you just go to the hospital and the doctor just magically pops your baby out. The things she comes up with are hilarious.

One day she told me I was fat. She didn't just say I was fat, it was "Mommy, your stomach is fat." Thank you captain obvious I had 3 children. Then she will proceed to tell we don't need any more babies. As if perfectly good strangers weren't already telling me my hands are full now my 4 year old thinks I'm too out numbered.

I'm enjoying listening to the new things she learns even if she drives me up the wall!!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Where have you been?

I don't even remember the last time I blogged. There are so many times I have just wanted to blog so bad but had no energy to even pick up the computer. I want to say my last blog was about my chronic migraines. I had a head ache for well over a month and a half. I could not function and had no time to ever blog. I finally gave up on taking my birth control and got my life back. I feel like a new person. I've been able to enjoy my kids not dread everything we did.

But who seriously stops taking their birth control 4 days before their husband gets back from deployment?! Especially someone who says "No we are NOT having any more kids." This special person did. I was trying so hard to just push through and take it for 3 months and let my body adjust. I sound like a drugy of some sort. And FYI to all you people telling me I'm going to be pregnant, I am in fact NOT! Also my husband wont be home for a while so we are safe! : P

In the mean time of not blogging so much has happened. Kylie started preschool. She has a love hate relationship with it and so do I. She absolutely loves the school part. She's made friends and even a boyfriend, {Who until this morning she would not tell me his name, its Richard.} But she hates the stress of picking out clothes to wear. I shouldn't care if she matches but I can't stand when my kids look like they belong on the side of the road. She is also only allowed to wear closed toe shoes so she wears her purple sparkle converses every day to school. Poor kid. One day I will top avoiding it and buy her some more tennis shoes.

My husband as stated above came home from deployment. Most amazing thing in the world times a million. I was able to fly out to CA for a few days to spend some alone time with him. We got to hang out with some friends which I enjoyed that. We stayed at a super nice hotel and to be honest it felt like he never left. We then flew on an over night flight back to NC so he could see the girls and meet his precious baby boy. I thought it was a good idea to get a tattoo right before our flight, worst idea, don't ever do it. Our plane landed at 7am and the anxiety of getting that man home to his kids was killing me. We finally arrived and Kylie came flying out of the house to greet him. Delainey to my surprise knew exactly who he was and took to him very fast. Bentley didn't cry and let him hold him right away. We were FINALLY a family again! :)
When we first saw each other!

His Banners!

Ryan and all the kids!

The short 10 days that he had home went by so fast I feel like we are still on deployment. People were coming and going every day and I never really got much time alone with just him and the kids. I try to accept the fact that everyone else missed him too but lezzzz be honest he missed me the most. He is now in a course for a while and hopefully he will be home soon! The day before he left he bought me a new car. No more telling you guys all the Has anything you could ever ask for. One complaint would be that it cost $5 to move it from one side of my drive way to the other but hey gas prices are going down right?!

I pray I start to get more sleep so I can blog more often. I miss it!!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Mom, I'm Dying

In the past 9 days I have sent my mom the same text at least 20 times. "Mom,I'm dying." I had a head ache last Saturday. I didn't think too much of it and tried drinking gallons of water, next tried caffiene and finally thought after a 'good' nights sleep I would be fine. Not so much.

After the first few days of never getting real relief I wanted to go crazy. My doctor had asked me not to take aspirin of any sort so excedrine was out of the question. If any of you have ever had a migraine you know how awful they can be. Now just add 3 kids to that mix. The little man is in this stage of thinking you have to hold or stare at him all day long. He makes sure to take all the attention. Delainey's new thing is high pitch squeals while running in circles around the house. And must I really say what my oldest has been up to? Some days it wasn't a migraine just a had ache and I learned how to deal. Others I was on the couch aka my death bed, the entire day.

Saturday, I had an appointment with this doctor whom I have no idea how to explain what he does. He hits certain pressure points (possibly) and releases all the build up toxins in your body. Now the night before I got real sleep and woke up feeling fine. Leaving his office he fixed my neck pain. That day could of possibly been the best day I've had in months. I got break after break that I am so grateful to have parents for. My husbands parents {well Dad and wish she was his mom but just his Dad's girlfriend} took the girls to the bookstore to eat breakfast with Cat in the Hat. My mom took Bentley so I could go to my appointment and kept him until 4. The girls and I got back from lunch at 1. Delainey went right down for a nap and Kylie and I did a few crafts. When I got my baby back my mom then took Kylie for the night. Then my husband's dad came back to watch the two little ones. I then got to giggle my day away with my two best friends. Sometimes it's just a great feeling to laugh at things that really aren't funny.

Sunday I woke up okay but not totally head ache free. By the end of the day I thought I may die. Today I woke up at 3am and thought I had died. My kids have played well together and upon my moms good idea, enjoyed eating breakfast foods all day. Very easy to make when feeling like death. I finally could not stand it and took some pain meds. Don't judge. 9 days is far too long to spend feeling this bad. 2 hours later I can't move my head without a sharp pain but I am alive!! I pray I get a good nights sleep and wake up feeling much better!

Friday, August 12, 2011

You Have Your Hands Full

"Boy do you have your hands full!"

I think I hear this statement no less than 4 times every time I go out of the house. Every time I hear it I just want to look at the person and say, "Really, I had no idea." I thought having 3 kids under the age of 4 alone was ideal. You know normal day activity. I am so aware of the fact I have my hands full. You do not have to tell me.

The day I took the dog to the groomers was my favorite. The day before I told my mom that if I heard that sentence one more time I would go crazy. The poor dog had not gotten his hair cut since March. He is black and full of afro hair. Needless to say the thing was dying in our 100 degree weather. I finally called and got him an appointment on a day I felt like going. I load all the kids in my tiny little car. I of course got stared at by my neighbors who have never introduced them self, never wave back and stare at me like I have 3 heads. I get to the pet store. I put Bentley's car seat on the stroller, all while Delainey is screaming because the kid swears I'm going to leave her in the car. {I have never done it before, that I remember} Kylie is trying to escape and is attached to the leash. I finally get Delainey unbuckled, the dog on the leash not attached to the 4 year old and start to walk. I'm holding Delainey and the leash while pushing the stroller. This guy walks past me as I cross the street and just shook his head then says "Oh my have you got your hands full." No shit dude, want the dog, he's free! I got in the pet store and the lady asks me if I want to get his pictures taken. I politely said "Nope, I don't like him." She then stated the kids could be in the pictures too where I again politely denied the offer because I didn't like them either. Then she of course said the wonderful line "Wow how do you do it, you have your hands full." One I have no choice, I do it because I have to, Two yuppp my hands are pretty full. Take the dog, cut his hair, Thanks. I get to the parking lot again. Buckle the Delainey in, Put Bentley's seat in the base, start to put the stroller in the trunk while this man is waiting to park next to me. I took my time. He jumped out of his porche and says "Oh my goodness do you have your hands full?" Yes, give me $100 for a nanny for the day! In 20 minutes I was told I had my hands full 3x!

The next week I went to my Grandmother's funeral and it started all over again. Every Great Aunt and Uncle said the same thing. They apparently are hard of hearing because I repeated my self in the same 2 ft radius over 10 times. How old are your kids? 4, 20 months and 2 months. "Oh my you have your hands full. And your husband is deployed?" Yes yes he is yes yes my hands are full.

The next time you see a lady such as I, do not stare and for the love of God do NOT tell her she has her hands full. She could be on the verge of an attack like my self. I promise she is fully aware of the fact it takes her 20 minutes to get in and out of the car. She knows she looks ridiculous with a 30 pound diaper bag and she sure as hell know she does not have a free hand!! :)

Thursday, August 11, 2011

She's at it Again!

I was so hoping that July was just the month of hell and August would be so much better. No luck there. My kids are still crazy. Ok let me rephrase that my KID is still crazy. August has already flown by. Is it really mid August already?! I've been sitting around doing nothing waiting for time to get closer to organize things and get them ready for my husbands arrival now I feel like I'm behind. We still have quite a few weeks left but I haven't even finished decorating the house much less started to clean it. He of course says, "Don't worry about cleaning for me." But lets be honest. What wife lets their husband come home to a dirty, unorganized, undecorated house?! Not this one.

I hate decorating. Everything I like is expensive! I also can't ever do anything by my self. My mom is my handy man. I make her hang everything on the walls. I stare at the house and want to cry because of all the piles of crap. I'm known to put things in corners and ignore them for weeks. Out of sight, out of mind right?!

I don't mind cleaning, I actually enjoy it. But that's alone not with 3 kids driving me up the wall. I will clean a room walk back in it and it will be destroyed. My floors are so nasty you should never wear shoes because you will most likely stick to it! All my windows are covered in nose and finger prints. my walls are a whole different story. I think I tell my oldest not to touch my walls at least 10 times an hour. The paint they used is apparently cheap because if you wet a paper towel to try to get the grimy little finger prints off it also takes the paint off. Then you just have these nasty looking streaks on the wall. I tried to just clean an entire wall one time and that didn't work as well as I wanted it to. I wish you could all see the walls going up my stairs. What on earth do these kids do with their hands?!

My real blog topic is my oldest Kylie. She is ridiculous. I wish I knew why during the second to last month of deployment she decided to go ape shit I have no idea. I can not stand dealing with this child. There are so many times I have no idea what to do or say to the kid. She doesn't respond to punishment of any sort. Spanking, time out, no tv, and taking toys does not in any way phase the child. In the past week we have gotten a little  better than we were but when I say little  I mean like size of a newborns pinkie toe nail little!

Day before yesterday I went to get a receipe out of the cabinet. I happen to keep my birth control in this top cabinet, you know thinking my kids wont get to it. It was missing. I asked Kylie where it was and she said she had no idea. Finally she handed it to her sister and told me her sister had it. Which I knew was a lie because her sister had just woken up from a nap 10 minutes before. I get it back and what do you know there are 2 missing. I looked for an hour and she kept insisting they were here or there. Never found them. I finally said "Kylie you are going to die if you took them so tell me if you did." That made her fess up to taking them. I then texted my friend Pam, she is our nurse for anything I ever need. Pam didn't know the answer so she called poison control and they said she could get nauseous at some point. Of course she felt fine that whole day. She woke up the next morning and said "Mom I'm not sick today." in a smart ass voice.

Now this story I can't even get mad about because I was laughing so hard the entire time. Kylie is known to sleep walk to the bathroom. But instead of going across the hall to her bathroom she comes all the way down the hall to mine. She turns the light on goes pee, walks to the potty, goes pee, walks out and doesn't say a word. Last night didn't go this smoothly for her. I heard her come into the room but she forgot to turn the light on. I then heard her stepping on the scale and knocking it against the wall over and over. I thought to my self, why on earth is this kid trying to weigh her self at midnight and in the dark. I said to her "Kylie go pee!" Apparently I shouldn't of said that. As soon as I did I heard pee hit the floor. I turn the light on and she is squatted in a corner as if she was really on the toilet peeing on my scale. The fact that I blinded her by the light made her facial expression even better. I cleaned it up and gave her new panties and told her to go back to bed. I went to her room and she was just sitting on her bed sleeping, sitting up! I felt like I was dealing with her father on a drunken night. I still wonder why she thought we all of a sudden put a toilet in on the other side of the bathroom.

I hope you all enjoy that last story because I am crying I'm laughing so hard thinking about it again!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

"Baby Girl" is Growing Up

My little girl is getting so big. She is a huge help with the little ones and loves them to death. As much as I write about how big of a pain in the arshhh she is, she trolley is an amazing little girl. I've tried to give her more credit for the good things she does rather than yelling at the bad things. {which obviously happens more often.} Yesterday I got her packet for preschool. Bittersweet. I have been by this child's side, give or take a vacation or two for 4 years and 4 months. She has never been to daycare or had a regular weekly babysitter. I am so excited for her to start preschool.

As I got the packet of forms to sign my child's life away I couldn't help but smile. She gets so bored at home with me and I can't wait for her to have friends and learn even more than she already knows. Then I started laughing at my self because I kept saying how I  felt like a real mom as I read through all the papers. I'm not sure how after 4 years and 3 kids later I was just now feeling like a real  mom, but I did. And then I kept imagining all the other Mom's staring at me when I bring her in every day. I'll be that mom  who all the other mom's talk about trying to figure out my age. They will also try to figure out where my husband is or if I even have one. But that is okay. I will gladly take the "hot mom" reputation! When Ryan is in town I'm not sure I will allow him to pick her up. I'd be beating off the other Mom's with a stick.

She has open house the last day of August. I'm still wanting to cry. Is she really old enough for school? Am I really old enough for a kid in school?! Is this really happening? I'm going to have 4 solid hours 3 times a week away from her?! I get to pack lunches and put annoying Mom notes in them! Gosh I can't wait. Oh and holidays! I'm so excited to volunteer in her class. I can bake holiday cookies! Oh my goodness and embroider all the kids things! Wow who knew I could be so excited about preschool!

Just a little eager to help out!

I hope this is a good thing to help this little girl's attitude. I also hope that taking and picking her up is easier than I'm thinking. Right now I feel as if loading 3 kids in the car twice a day 3 times a week could be a lot of work!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Is it August yet?!

July has been a month from hell. Until July this deployment was a joke. I was not phased by it in any way. Now all of a sudden we are taking steps backwards in progress. The kids are going insane. I'm convinced they get up in the middle of the night and compence with each other about the ways they will torture me the next day.

Kylie is my main issue and if you a frequent reader you're well aware of this one. She is me in a nut shell. I was never known as the nice one in schoo. I'm mean, I'm cold hearted, I'm sarcastic and well I'm a bitch. That is the only word there is to describe this child. I've tried for months to give her leeway because she does miss her Daddy but I'm at my breaking point with her. No form of disipline works. You can not punish the child. If you spank her she laughs. { Although if you pinch her thigh she thinks you shot her.} Taking things away is a joke to her. If I take the TV away she finds something else to do. If I take toys away she watches TV, if I take them both away she starts tormentng her sister. We have not had any problems with bed time until the begining of July. She then decided she "couldnt sleep", "wasn't tired", or "was thirsty".  By 8pm I want nothing more than to lay in my bed and watch a TV show that does not consist of dancing 25 year old retards. So she has been going to bed at 10 or 11 and waking up at 6:45. {She hasnt napped since she was 2 either.} If you have kids you know 8 hours of sleep is just not enough for them. She wakes up in the middle of the night to come to my room. Then she caught on to the fact I wasn't letting her in my bed, she started sleeping on my floor. What the heck kid?!

Bentley has been my best sleeper and really an easy baby. In the last week I'm ready to give him away. He wants to be held 24/7. I would always lay him down when he was sleeping so I would not spoil him in the beginning. Now all of a sudden he will only sleep for 5 mintues unless I"m holding him. If I do get him to sleep laying down my lovely 4 year old wakes him up. He started sleeping from 10-5 which has been awesome. But of course past 2 nights he thinks I should be holding him to sleep. I can not sleep comfortably with him on me. The night before last I woke him up to feed him just so I could move him. I may have to stop running due to the fact he wont allow me to shower. I like to tan before I shower so it takes all of 20 minutes to do both. It's an act of God to get that done in this household. It took me an hour to get him to sleep in his swing today. Two minutes into tanning I hear Kylie drop a bucket of toys and boom he's awake. I come downstairs bring him upstairs, calm him down and jump in the shower. Two minutes into the shower he's screaming. And this isnt a whimper. This is full on I think I'm dying scream. I had to let him cry. I was smelling like a combination of outside sweat and burning flesh. {Not flattering.}

The two of them are so over whelming I want to scream at the top of my lungs. Delainey aside from coloring her self daily is my little angel. She goes to bed at 8:05 every night, naps at 1 every day and goes with the flow. If she had issues I would probably give up already. I hope and wish and pray that the month of August will be calm and peaceful and we can fix these spastic Burke children!!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Weight on the Brain

Lately all I do is think, breath and dream about losing these last few pounds and getting that flat belly I haven't seen in 2 years. It's all I email my husband about. It's all I talk to my friends about. And it's all that I dream about. You know when you finally start feeling good about the way you look and you find your self staring in every mirror or reflective object you pass? Yep that would be my conceded self. I can't help it. Ive never worked out in my life. Jogging is as far as I ever got but never on a regular basis. I in fact had a 36 hour gym membership once. Don't be jealous, you too can join a gym for that long. {Just be sure they offer returns after that time.}

As I posted my friend Kelly and I started p90x the last week of June which is when my weight endeavor started. That lasted all of 4 days. Kids didn't cooperate, my ear went to hell, every excuse in the book. I however stuck to the food part of my "loose 87lbs era". I stopped drinking soda which I use to drink no less than one dr pepper a day sometimes 3 or 4. Water is my new beverage choice. After 3 days of no soda my wedding rings fit. I then had to start claiming my husband again. I don't eat junk and as bad as I want to cram a big Mac down my throat I have not given in. I do treat my self to a soda here and there but man have I impressed my self.

8 weeks ago
haha just a LITTLE bit of a difference!

After quitting p90x I then obsessed over crunches. I did close to 400 a day. All different types of ab exercises and never saw anything change. Got discouraged. A fellow Marine Wife {Thanks Rachael} is also losing weight, assuming same reason, to look hot for homecoming. I asked what she did and she said run run run. Next day I woke up threw my tennis shoes on which I hadn't worn in hmmm at least 2 years, crammed my 27 kids in my double jogging stroller and set off to the park. The park is .8 miles there and back. After running 3 times I lost 3 pounds. I'm now losing a pound about every 3 days. Who wouldn't?! I'm pushing dang 80lbs of stroller which is almost what I weigh! Today I cut off 3 minutes from my usual time.

Friday, we got to the park and not 5 minutes later Kylie my oldest is holding her butt telling me she has to poop. Really kid?! So I got them all back in the stroller and sprinted all the way home. I thought I was going to die. It was 89 degrees out! In that sprint I dropped Bentley's blanket and my cup went flying out of the stroller and cracked. {RIP pretty pink tumbler, sorry you took a tumble.} Luckily my mom was stopping by for a few and found the blanket on her way in. Of course it was in a damn sprinkler though.

All in all I am feeling much better about the way I look and I'm hoping to lose 6 more lbs by the time my husband gets home and one day I would like to bend over without having my glob of "extra skin" flop over my pants. Sorry for that vision. It has to be disturbing. And I promise I will have something more to talk about soon. Ok maybe not but you never know!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

I Miss Blogging!

It has been such a crazy last few weeks. The amount of things I've done, need to do,want to do and have done are unreal. You know when you've got so much to do yet you sit on the couch doing none of it? Yea that's my life in a nut shell. I finally got in the swing of things with 3 kids. I was going to the store with all 3 kids, making real meals, doing laundry, so on and so forth. And then I went out without kids to celebrate July 4th, big mistake.

My break was much needed and in my opinion much deserved. I'm grateful enough to have a mom who loves and is willing to watch my kids when needed. So on the 4th I brought my kids to my mom late morning then headed out on the lake with some friends. Bottle of vodka later and I was gone. I am not a big drinker, never have been but I started drinking at 1pm and had a drink in hand until I went to bed that night. I woke up still drunk and was until almost 2pm. I finally made it to pick up my kids but could not hear to save my life. I assumed it was water in my ear and ignored it for about a week.

That's when I start to regret my day out. On Thursday I went to the minute clinic to get it looked at after not sleeping for 3 days. She tells me wax is jammed in my ear and I need to flush it out. So my nurse friend Pam did just that, didn't help. The next day Pam comes over with all her gadgets so she can actually see in my ears. She finally was able to get all the wax out. {It was disturbing how much was in my ear, swear I clean them.} so for 4 days the water was stuck behind the wax sitting on my ear drum. I heard for all of 5 minutes then went back to my mute life. Sunday 2am, woke up to a wet ear and thought thank God the water finally came out! Nope. It was bleeding. Not just a drop, I leaned my head over the sink and it was dripping out of my ear. I won't lie I started to panic. One I was in pain. Two I'm pretty sure that's one body part that is just not supposed to bleed! On top of not hearing all week my phone decided to play in the rain on July 4th as well, so I had no phone to call anyone to help me. Luckily I had a way to text my mom from the computer and my friend Jake saw my facebook status and offered to take me to the ER. The ER of course looked at me like I was an idiot and nothing was wrong with me but home alone with 3 kids I wasn't chancing it. They gave me ear drops and told me good luck. I was in so much pain that my body was crying for me. Monday I was still in just as much pain but add a migraine to it as well. I couldn't eat because it spread to my jaw, therefore I couldn't take pain meds on an empty stomach. It took a half hour to eat a handful of cheese itz! Tuesday I was finally not in pain and my poor mother got to go home.

I still can not hear all the way. I'm supposed to put drops in my ear 4 times a day but I am lucky to do so 2 times a day with these crazy children! It is almost time for my husband to come home so I am frantic trying to figure out what needs to be done in the house. So much needs to be decorated, pictures still need to be hung. The things I've stared at for months but walk by and ignore! So in between the screaming kids I am trying to organize and figure out the things that need to be done. Lets be serious there is no time in between that!

Hope you all have a safe and swell weekend! :)

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

X is for eXtreme!

Last Friday my friend and I decided we wanted to start p90x. We posted a status to find someone who had it. {Yeah were that cheap, and I guess scared we wouldn't do it.} After an hour we found a friend who said we could borrow it. It's all I could think about. The whole weekend it was oh my gosh I'm so excited to start, and hey have you ever done p90x. I was almost scared. You hear everyone talk about how insane it is.

Monday was the first day. We didn't have a pull up bar which was half of the work out so we did double the amount of push ups. I have not done a push up since freshman year of high school. They were doing the most insane kinds of push ups we had ever seen. We attempted all of them but some we failed at. But hey on our first day who can really do it all. {Shut it husband you're a freak} The first day we got through the hour work out pretty fast, only a few interruptions from babies. My arms were pretty soar but not too crazy.

Tuesday was our favorite disk. I wanted to start over and do it again right after. Its the plyometrics DVD if any of you are familiar. It was awesome. Luckily our kids cooperated that day and from what I can remember we did that disk straight through. We were able to do all the exercises and kept up pretty well. My legs were feeling the burn that day.

Today, Wednesday, was Shoulders and Back I believe. The boys were not having it. Kelly and I were going back and forth to the swing and the pack n play, changing diapers, making bottles, and so on and so forth. I think it took us 3 hours to do an hour work out. But we finished. I almost feel like my legs got more of a work out but maybe they are just soar from the day before.

Tuesday night Kelly, our friend Danielle, and I decided to make it a competition. Danielle has no kids and works almost every day so she will just be doing work outs with us when she can. But we are going to see who can lose the most weight/body fat by August 16th. We picked that date because Danielle is going back to school. That gives us 50 days. We have a goal of 12 lbs to lose each. Funny part is we all decided this random weight without talking to each other. So 12lbs in 50 days. We are all determined and motivated, doing it together helps a lot. I have an extra bonus of trying to look good when my husband comes home. If any one can think of a good prize at the end for the winner, let me know. None of us can think of anything good.

Today as I was drinking my red bull while working out my friend told me that my heart would explode. {ok not literally} But people are known to have heart attacks when they work out and drink red bull. So day 3 of doing so and I survived but I will NOT be doing that again! My red bull will be a morning beverage instead of lunch from now on.

Sums up our life for the next 3 months! :)

On top of working out p90x comes with a meal plan. I am the WORST eater in the world. I am trying to change a few things in my diet but not kill my self because that will only discourage me. I stopped buying soda for the house. So I drink 3-4 bottles of water a day. If you know me then you know that's a HUGE deal. Ive been making smoothies for breakfast and having string cheese for snack. Trying to come up with meals that not only I can eat but my kids can eat has been my challenge. Today I made chicken salad that we all ate. {Mind you Kylie said "Mom this is not like Grandma's" Its my mom's damn recipe, kid is just mean to me} I need fast meals. I don't have much time between two kids at my feet and the other wailing. Some meals are peaceful but its such a hit or miss thing.

I'm excited and can't wait to see results. I'm hoping we can all stay motivated and get a good schedule for the babies soon! 3 days down 87 to go! :)

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Scattered Thoughts

Ok before you start reading this just keep in mind my brain is scattered and I have wanted to blog but have been too exhausted to do so. Therefore I have many things I want to write and not all of them go together.

First off being a mom of three has already had some pretty humorous yet awful parenting skill moments. The main incident being my escaping 18 month old. One day my mom went out and it was just the kids, my sister and I home. Delainey woke up from her nap and was playing downstairs. I was feeding Bentley and noticed Kylie stopped to gock at the TV during whatever she was playing. I asked her several times where Delainey was and she said upstairs with Aunt Bailey. I assume this to be true and continue feeding the baby. A few more minutes go by and the door bell rings. Yep, my neighbor, whom I've never met, is at the door with my 18 month old child. Apparently she let her self out. The neighbor was extremely nice and did not seem to have any judgment on my horrible mothering skills but I still felt like I needed to explain to her my life story and that I swear I do pay attention to my kids. Now more than ever I want to put up a homecoming sign so they know that I'm alone with 3 kids and I only have so many arms.

I know I've talked quite a bit about needing a new car. I did however shuffle car seats and found a way to get them all in. Who on earth has a Dodge Charger with 3 kids?! A retard that's who! Every time I get in the car I have to unbuckle Delainey's car seat, buckle Kylie in her seat, rebuckle Delainey's seat, buckle Delainey in her seat, put Bentley in his car seat and then place it on the base. Oh wait and then buckle my own damn seat belt! It is a 45 minute ordeal. Needless to say we don't and haven't gone many places.

Weight. I am so sick of looking in the mirror and wanting to cry. I say to my self over and over, its only been 3 weeks, its only been 3 weeks, its only been 3 weeks. Why on earth I can not give my self some slack I have no idea. I have this goal to weigh my "pre Delainey" weight by the time Ryan gets home. So I have ruffly 18 pounds to go. I was 96 pounds when I got pregnant with both girls. After Delainey I never lost all the weight. I could NOT get past 108 pounds to save my life. For years exceeding 100 pounds was a challenge but I quickly over come that after two kids. I then gained 20 pounds with Bentley so 128 pounds walking in the hospital and 118 walking out. After he was a week old I stepped on the scale and weighed 104 pounds. I weighed 104 pounds for 36 hours. I weighed my self over and over because I didn't believe the scale. Then within a  little over a day I stepped back on that dreadful scale and weighed 115! Who the heck gains 11 pounds in a day? The one day where I had this fabulous weight I could wear my wedding rings. Prior to that I had not worn them for 2 weeks. I am now 114 pounds, still can't wear my rings and well can't wear my pants either. I'm frustrated and I know I am not going to see results over night but it would be nice to wake up and be 104 again!

People always say  "Oh you'll loose the weight so fast, 3 kids you wont have time to eat." That is a LIE! I have so much time to eat it kills me. Call me super mom but my house has been clean all week. Laundry is done, food is made at normal meal times, kids are bathed {we wont talk about me} and put in bed by 8pm. My mom left Sunday night to go back home and rejoin reality whatever that may be. I have impressed my self. I wont lie. I was nervous about her leaving. I thought I was going to struggle and go crazy because I was stressed. The opposite happened. I was going crazy because I was so bored. Tuesday I ended up going to my Mom's house because I was bored.

Now I may be able to keep the house cleaned and the kids looking like they have a home but I can't seem to keep my self looking decent. I have showered once this week. I have yet to master showering with 3 kids. I don't trust the girls alone with Bentley in a room where I can't see them. I am thinking I will put a swing or bouncy seat in the bathroom by the shower so I can watch him. When it is just the girls they get a snack and watch TV while I shower. My eye brows look like a monkey. I keep meaning to just run by a nail place and get them to them for me but haven't even had the time to do that. Although last time I did that the lady could not get past the fact I had a scar in the middle of my eyebrow therefore it did not have hair there. Yes thank you for pointing that out I had NO idea I had a gaping hole in my eyebrow! {Natalie Skaggs if you see Blaine punch him, he is the one who scarred my precious eyebrow in which oriental ladies can not stand.} I can only wear shorts right now, its all that buttons and it's been so hot its all I want to wear. My legs are so hairy it is disturbing!!

Well there is my scattered thoughts of my life these days!

The Girls being cute!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I Think I Have Marine Wife In My Blood!

I seriously sometimes believe I was made to be a Marine Wife. I am a closet motard. If you aren't aware of the term motard it means motivational retard. You live breath and think Marines 24/7. Ryan and I both are secretly obsessed with the life style. We hate it and love it at the same time. The time apart is obviously a down side. The pay ain't so great either. But the pride I get when I  say, "Yes, I am a Marine Wife." just make up for that. I'm proud of my husband for what he does and the things he sacrifices to be away from his family. He's good at his job and quite frankly if he weren't able to be a Marine I have no idea what he would do with his life.

A Marine who is from a town right near us was just killed in Afghan this past week. I never met him, didn't know of him but hurt for his family. I have this strange urge to attend his funeral. I feel as if that could be odd to some but I asked a fellow Marine Wife if she thought it was and she agrees its just a respect thing. You honor the fallen Marines whether you know them or not. I'm sure I wont go because I'm a pansy when going places alone but I can only imagine how beautiful the funeral will be. Despite the circumstances military funerals are so amazing. The dozens of American flags flown and the feeling of unity from the people around can almost put a smile on someones face. {Ive never been to one but the ones I've seen on TV, seen pictures of etc. }

If something were to ever happen to my husband I would love and welcome all other Marine families. You can relate so much better with a Marine family member more than any other person. Whether they are a widow, a mom or dad left behind, or just a simply a Marine Mom, they know the feeling of being left at home to sit and wonder if your loved one is still okay. You know like whenen your door bell rings and you aren't expecting someone and your heart instantly stops. I know my husband is in a safe area but I haven't talked to him a day or so and I start to worry. He normally informs me he wont be able to talk so when he doesn't give me a heads up my mind is scattered with the worst case scenery. So many Marine's have lost their life and never met their kids. That's my biggest fear. I've tried to ALWAYS think positive and never think anything could happen but hell his plane could break down and something could go wrong. It doesn't always have to be war/military related.

The Marine that passed was Nic O'Brien, a LCpl of the Marines. He was a friend of a friend is why and how I found out. My friend that knew him made the point, " I guess it never hits home how serious it really is until you know somebody who has been a victim of war." And it's so true. So many people have no idea how many lives are lost over seas. For a few months there I was hearing of a new death every other day, all Marine's from Camp Pendelton. So everyone take a moment to pause your busy life and not only think of the fallen Marine's but the families they've left behind.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Does this mean you're done?

Does this mean you're done? The amount of times I heard this question in the past week is unreal. Almost every person who came to visit, was talking to me online, texted or called asked the question. Quite frankly I find it rude and annoying. As long as my kids are fed, clothed and have a house over their head does it really effect you that I have 3 kids? And since when was it unheard of to have 3 kids. My mom has 4, my husband is the middle child of 3, the Duggar's have what 19 now, Kate has 6 the same age, but me having 3 is the end of the world?! The only person that I would ever allow to have an opinion on this would probably be my mom because she is my main babysitter and help. I don't see her ever telling me to not have more kids though.

My husband is deployed so the question seems a little silly. I can't even get pregnant again if I wanted to for at least 4-5 months. And why do people think it's okay to ask that question when I JUST had a baby. Do you think since I just experienced labor that I would no longer want kids? You guys know I have short labors, no epidural and am in no way phased by the "pain" of child birth? If Ryan and I decide to have another baby whether it be in 4 months or 4 years it's our decision. No one's comments or opinions are really going to effect that decision. I enjoy being pregnant {for the most part} and Bentley's labor was so easy and pleasant I can't see why anyone would ever not have kids.

After I had our second daughter I was so content with having just 2 kids then decided I wanted more. There is never a real way to decide if you are done having kids or not. I would like to say that I am done having kids and I got my boy and I can be done. But what and how I will feel in 2 years I can't tell you. We aren't doing anything drastic to not have more kids so stop asking the question. What happens to our lady and man parts is no one's business. After 2 kids my mentality is what's one more? I was so unaware my offspring was effecting so many people's lives. When I get my boobs done is the day you will all know that we are "done" having kids! Until then stop asking the question. That's like bottomless chips at Chili's, are you ever really done?

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Finally Have Time to Blog

This is a little long and if you dont have kids it could be a little TMI! :)

Well for weeks my Mom and I were hounded with the annoying question of "Is he here yet?" As if we just weren't going to tell people for weeks that he was here. So after a few days of hearing this question over and over we started a game. So long as each of us had a new status on Facebook every day we were not bothered as much. My Mom then began to post a Jimmy Buffet song daily, either the lyrics or just the song title. Some had a point others didn't. Like when she used the "It's 5 O'clock somewhere the doctor had just told me I was 5cms dilated. And she posted "A son of a son of a sailor" is when he had arrived! I started writing TV show theme songs. They had no point or meaning just shows I watch or thought of that day. My husband joined in on the fun and began writing "My _____ is here", and wrote a type of car, then wrote "My Bentley is hereeee" the day he arrived. Yep we got clever in being annoyed by others.

So Thursday is the day I had an early doctors appointment. I expected to go right into labor after getting my membranes stripped. I was 3cm that day. My sister arrived around 1pm that afternoon. I got contractions right away but they weren't a lot or in any way consistent. My midwife had told me if I didn't go into labor that night to call the office and make an appointment to get my membranes stripped again. I of course didn't go into labor. I called the office and made a 9am appointment to try this again. She stripped my membranes and told me I was 5cm's. If any of you know the story of my second labor you know hearing that I was 5 Cm's terrified me. I didn't want to leave the hospital parking lot. I was frantic thinking my water was going to break and I would barely make it to the hospital just like last time. But I did in fact leave the hospital parking lot. I went home and waited for my mom to get there. Then my Mom, my sister Katie and I left to go closer to the hospital. I was getting contractions every 6-7 minutes at this point. We went to the Starbucks by the hospital to kill some time but to be close to the hospital. I was so afraid they would send me home and tell me I wasn't in labor. After walking around the hospital my mom finally said okay just go in there's no way they will send you home being 5cm's. So we walked in the hospital at 3:30pm. The nurse checked me after a while of being there and I was 6cm's. Once my midwife got there I was then 7cm's. She said well I can break your water and we will have this baby. I of course had to explain once you break my water give me 10 minutes and we will be having a baby. She then asked the question I went back and forth on for months, "Do you want an epidural?" I said No then started to get really nervous on my decision to actually do it without an epidural of choice. {I did it with my second but not of choice and it was in no way fun.} I got hooked up to an IV just because its required for everyone to have them. So technically I was not admitted into the hospital until 5:15. My water was broken at 5:30. During all this time I was talking to my husband on Skype chat. I had told him to go to bed so many times even for a half hour to get some sort of sleep as it was past midnight where he is. He refused and thank goodness he did. My contractions were not painful and I could talk through them all up until my water was broken. Once my water was broken I then handed over my phone and stopped talking to him by the 3rd contraction after that. By the 5th contraction it was time to push. 10 minutes of pushing and he was here. 26 minutes after my water was broken little Bentley Alan Burke was in my arms and being looked at via skype by his Daddy. His Aunt Katie cut his cord and both Grandma and Aunt Katie stayed standing thru the labor. {we joked that one of them would pass out.} He came out with his  cord wrapped around his head, his arm up and his cord wrapped around again. Apparently he had an extremely long cord. He was a healthy little peanut. 5 pounds 15 oz, 17 inches long born at 5:56 on Friday May 27th!

I was certain that Katie would no longer want kids after seeing all of that but her response was "Well you made it look so easy, I will have kids still." The funniest part of it all was when they delivered the placenta. Katie was behind me and I was skyping Ryan so not really paying attention and all I heard was her saying "ughhh really omg ughhh thats gross, ughh they just pull it out like that?" I was laughing inside because if you know anything of what it looks like yes it is in fact disgusting.

Ryan and I spent the first 30 minutes of little man's life just giggling and staring at him. We finally got off skype so Ryan could call his parents and tell them the good news as well as finally get some sleep since it was 2am! After about an hour my girls came up to see him and Kylie was in love with our baby boy! Delainey just pointed and repeated the words looook loooook over and over. Kylie asked what everything in the room was and Delainey just ran around the room looking for trouble.They didn't stay long because I had to get up and be moved to the postpartum room and it was getting late. I then called Danielle and Kelly and let them know the exciting news. Danielle laughed because she had texted me at 5 about the weather and I replied "Yea the weather is killing me." haha no big deal I wasn't in active labor or anything. Ryan's dad came to visit and after he left Kelly and Danielle came. My sister stayed with me that night and Bentley did great and never cried. The next day Ryan's good friend spent a while with us at the hospital. The girls came back up to see him as well. Then we left the hospital at 6 that night.

Our first night at home went great. Kylie and Delainey were FULL of energy but we finally got them to sleep! Sunday my friends from Georgia came to stay for 2 days. Most people who hear me say this tell me I'm crazy. Yeah I had a baby then had house guest 2 days later. I had quite a few friends stop by as well. It has been crazy ever since. I'm worn out and ready for things to calm down. Bentley is a week old tomorrow and I can't wait for his daddy to meet him!

Talking to Daddy!

As good as you can get with 3 kids. lol

My sister and I
i look awful!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

How To Induce Labor

Still 2cm and still just a waitin'! Most women at the end of pregnancy get very uncomfortable and just want to get that baby out! And I'm guilty of being that way with my last pregnancy but not this one. I'm very content with where he is and quite frankly I think he is fine there too. He hasn't showed much sign of wanting to evacuate. If I make it to next week I may have to put up an eviction sign though.

You hear of all the crazy things you can do to go into labor or start labor. I have always done the pineapple and mango binge. In order to actually "induce" labor with pineapple you would need to eat 9 WHOLE pineapples. I am in no way that crazy. But I do eat a good amount of each those fruits towards the end. I do it to help the process along. It is said to thin out your cervix, not sure if it is true but the mango has been so good to me lately. I crave them so hey two birds one stone, or mango in this case.

There is also the rumors of walking. I swear walking is a joke. I don't think it really helps but doctors and everyone else swear by it so I will just say okay. My sister and I went on a night time walk the other day. Long story short my neighborhood does not make the short loop I thought it did. So after a mile walk and a deadly 8 lb dog later I got not even one braxton hicks. What the heck is that? Bentley pretty much said to me, "Mom I will come when I'm ready because all that walk did was make your legs hurt!"

Then you have the infamous caster oil. I will never in my life do that one. I will be induced before I take caster oil. I've heard it successfully work for a few people but then you hear the other 98% of people who spent the night on the toilet. Not my idea of fun. Or worse what if it does both, then you are in a hospital bed, wishing you could be on your own toilet! Call me crazy but I will just wait until I pass my due date for anything like that.

Pressure points. To me this could work, that is if you know what the hell you're doing. Kelly and I looked up all of the said pressure points to induce labor and they didn't do much of anything for her. I'm scared to even try them on me. I will probably do the wrong spot and pee on my self instead. Or what if it is the right spot and I do it too long then my water breaks, we all know I wouldn't make it to the hospital in time.

The real question is who on earth thought of these things? Some man who wants to laugh at all the huge pregnant women eating mango's on jogs while pressing the pressure points? The funniest part is there are probably millions of pregnant ladies googling these exact words, "How to Induce Labor" And trust me I've done it many of times. You all know you did it at one point. Even if you don't act upon it you get the urge to know what you could do!

Now if I am pregnant this time next week you best believe I will only be eating mango and pineapple while pushing my double stroller up hills as my mom does acupuncture on any said pressure point to induce labor. But until then I will enjoy the last moments of being pregnant with my baby BOY!

This is so very true in my Mom and I's life!
We will let you know, promise.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Nerve Racking

Probably since far before I was even living in NC I was thinking about how labor would go. Who would watch the kids, where my mom would be, who my "replacement husband" would be, and if I would even make it to the hospital. I bothered my Mom all the time thinking about it and worrying about it but she just said, it's okay. Now today after my appointment she is all of a sudden realizing that the past few months of me freaking out is for a reason! I'm thankful to know she cares enough to be thinking this hard about it all but I can't help but to laugh at her because I've been trying to tell her all this for weeks!

We have the first dilemma of who can stay with the girls. Which I am lucky enough to have kids who are normally fine with whom ever I leave them with. The bigger the stranger the more they pull off on them. {You know like Ms. Nicole who has REAL tea parties with them. Btw Nicole still trying to find all the water on our tea set. lol} When my best friend Danielle watches Kylie she apparently just has her rolling laughing at all the funny things she says. Example from today: Kylie put blocks back into a bucket and proceeded to ask Danielle to clap for her, then took a bow and said thank you thank you! I believe that Danielle will be my main on call person for the girls. She works on weekend but other than that can normally be here, not to mention her whole family loves my girls and will be willing to help when they can. It's just a matter of when I go into labor and if that person can get here fast enough, and me have a ride to the hospital to meet my mom who is about 40 miles away.

Second we have the issue of who will stay with me in the hospital. So long as my secret plan works out the way I'm hoping my older sister will be in town and be the one to stay with me. Then my mom would go home to stay with the girls for the night. However if my sister is not here I'm not sure how well my kids will go without Mommy and Grandma for that long.

Now that I wrote my previous blog I can breath. I'm not at all worried about who shows up at the hospital because I promise you if you come before I say you can, you will be turned down and not invited back. I have gotten a lot of positive feed back from the way I feel about things. I think just writing it to where people can read what I plan on doing made me relax and know things will work out even if they aren't how I "plan".

This past week all I wanted to know is if I was dilated. I went to the doctor today and I am in fact dilated and so much more. Now I am so nervous to be alone. I almost wish I didn't know so then I wouldn't feel this way. But I know if I didn't know it would be just as nerve racking. So everyone who is supposed to be helping or willing to help should be staying by their phone and prepared for that phone call or text saying "Get your butt here because he's coming"

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


I often forget that I am not only pregnant but now 9 months pregnant. My shower was this weekend and I have not stopped since. I told everyone I need clothes which is very true, my poor boy was threatened with wearing pink clothes. So I got so many adorable blue and green clothes. But then it was time to finish up my list of things I need for him.

Sunday I was off to BabiesRUs to pick up a few different size diapers, some preemie clothes, and a few blankets. I also bought a new car seat, then I decided I didn't really need it so my mom ended up taking it back. When she took it back she then picked up the bottles I need. Monday I was off to Target to get BLUE towels, shampoo and any other things the baby and I may need when coming home from the hospital.

Monday night Kylie stayed with my Mom. There was no real reason, my Mom asked and I would never say no to that offer! So Tuesday I was headed up to her house sewing machine in tow. We then spent the whole day cussing and arguing, at our sewing machines that is. But the end product is amazing. We made "Big Sister" and "Little Brother" shirts. I plan on the girls wearing theirs to the hospital and once we are all home they can all 3 match! I can't wait to see them all in them.

Today Delainey had her 18 month check up. I woke up in a fine mood but about the time I went to get dressed I slowly got abnormally annoyed. Delainey's appointment went fine, she got her last shots until she is 4. Which is amazing news for this Momma! She is in the 10%, seems to be normal in our family. After her appointment we headed to Super Target to pick up a few things. I only have a bright pink sports bra and decided I couldn't wear that in the hospital so I bought a blue one. Ok so I'm a little obsessed with the blue theme at this point.

This post is boring and has no real point but to tell you that my life is so boring and over exhausting for a pregnant lady with 2 kids. As of right now the only thing I know we still have to do to prepare for little man's arrival is a blue head rest for his car seat and finish the things up for his room. {Fabric is on its way and Grandma's head is a brewing with ideas on what the bumpers will look like.}

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and I am very anxious to see if I have progressed any to know if Bentley has started his arrival! I may have to evict him soon! :)

Monday, May 16, 2011

To Whom It May Concern:

I knew this blog post was going to have to be written at some point and I think it is time. I am full term in 4 days and that means little Bentley will be here in no time. As much as an exciting time this will be and I couldn't be happier to finally get the Momma's boy I have always wanted, it will also be an emotional time as well as a challenging one. That being said I have had to set "rules" about hospital visits and the "knowing" I am either in labor or have had him.

Before everyone gets their panties all up in a bunch, consider how you would feel if you were me. Imagine giving birth and holding your son for the first time with his Dad on the other side of the world. If you still feel like you wouldn't do things the way I am, well more power to ya. If you are a guy then consider being across the world and other people seeing and knowing about your son before you.

When I had our oldest daughter my hospital room was INSANE. Before I even made it to the recovery room, which mind you was 30 minutes after I had her, {Epidural was still in effect} I had close to 10 visitors. Once in the recovery room I then had over 35 visitors. Where as I was so glad everyone cared enough to come meet her and congratulate us it was a little over whelming. Ryan and I did not get to hold her or feed her until we were home. With our second daughter we were on the other side of the country and had a peaceful time enjoying that little girl all to our selves, and Grandma of course! I realize a lot of those people who came do not live here any more and times have changed, and hell face it, it is our third child but I am trying my hardest to protect my sanity for doing this without my husband.

Depending on the time of day I go into labor and you know if I actually manage to make it to the hospital,{Biggest fear and concern at this point in my life} will determine how much of a Nazi I will be. Ryan is usually able to get Internet and phone access any where from 11am-2pm our time on week days and on weekends much more flexible. So if I have him at 9am then I will be able to talk to Ryan right away and therefore the rest of you will then hear the announcement of his arrival. BUTTTT even after that happens PLEEEASE, can't stress this enough, call or text me personally and until you talk to me DO NOT show up to visit. Don't get offended because unless you are my mother, my father, my sister, my father in law, my brother in law, or have a matching flower tattooed on your foot you will not be allowed there. And if you want to see him badly enough to get a tattoo to match mine then yes I will let you in because that's just dedication. My mother is respecting my wishes so if you try to go through her and she turns you down just realize it's really me being the mean one behind that phone. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body, I stole all of those when I was born. You are more than welcome to bug me and let me know you want to know when he is born and I will put you on the list in my head to remember to text "first".

Go ahead tell me I'm crazy but you will probably get put down on the list. :)