Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Fat Kid at Heart

Much to contrary believe of the way I've looked for most of my life, I live off of sweets. I love everything that is made with sugar, even sugar. I like chocolate chips in my pancakes, sugar on my grapefruit, a few cookies with my sandwich, cheesecake with my dinner, and an after dinner snack of ice cream. I drink soda, sweet tea and red bull. I've never had any problems with eating what I want when I want. Until now, after 2 kids it has finally caught up with me. I can't get to my pre-Delainey weight to save my life. She is almost 9 months old and here I am still have 10 lbs left of that cute little thing left on my body. My hips are huge, my stomach jiggles and my pants don't fit. How do you go from never worrying about what you're eating to trying to watch what you eat? Suggestions are welcome. I am a fat kid. I ate a salad yesterday for lunch. 10 minutes later I ate 3 cookies. I'm beginning to realize there is no hope for me. I will be this weight forever. I often blame it on my lack of sleep.

For Example: Last night I was up until one catching up with my DVR. Delainey was up at 1:30, then again at 4:30. Kylie was up at 7:15 and Delainey at 7:35. That gives me a grand total of about 6 hours. Which sounds like alot. But when you are alone and waking up every 30 minutes due to the TV that is drowning out scary sounds, its not really 6 hours.
I often get the response from people " You're Tiny" blah blah blah. Okay to you I am a midget, but to my self a year ago, I am HUGE! I have never weighed over 96lbs not pregnant. I joined a gym for a grand total of drum rollll please, thirty six hours! As a mom you would love to work out. So I found a place that had child care,loved the gym aspect, hated the child care. There were 2 women working for well over 20 kids. Within the first hour I had EVER stepped foot in a gym my oldest had been hit in the face by an older boy. Whose to say what else happened seeing as they never informed me of the incident. Needless to say I was done with the gym. I bought a jogging stroller, I absolutely love to jog. Or so I thought. Living in So Cal there are hills among hills among hills. Did I really think I would be pushing 50 lbs up and down hills? I think not!
So here we are back to the drawing board of how on earth this fat kid is going to get back to her normal weight.

1 comment:

  1. I know exactly how you feel and it sucks! I always weighed around 110 at 5'4 and ate everything and anything (still do) But Im about 10 lbs from that now, Im not fat but not comfortable with this weight... I think that the older we get the, the more pregnacy is going to mess with our metabolism. If We ever live near eachother I would for sure jog with you because its the only exercise other than swimming that I can stand to do.